Tulubaikaporia's First Ever Book Club (Tomorrow! on Long Island!!)
a humble library selected our unpublished novel for their Author Spotlight
A play in four F’s, performed entirely over email between 14–19 February 2026. Everything here, including names and events, is real except of the things that are, apparently, not. Myself, Felix Futzbucker, is willing and excited to share with you, compadres in cognitive chaos, a full transcript of a an email exchange turned into an epistolary internet play.
Dramatis Personae
JACKIE SACHEM who is (allegedly) Founder & Organizer, Sachem Library TnT (20s ‘n 30s) Book Discussion. Holbrook, NY. Gmail address.
VANECHKA who is the author of “Tulubaikaporia.”
FELIX FUTZBUCKER who is a chief executive assistant at nova·nevédoma.
TULUBAIKAPORIA, the book in question, which releases on the 1st of March 2026 (very thoooooon!). Rumours go that Amazon and other online stores might already allow preorders… Info on where to buy on the release, as well as how to order signed and special edition copies, will be shared later this month!
Announcement and sign up for review copies below:
F ONE: Flattery
JACKIE:
Hi Vanechka,
My name is Jackie, and I’m the founder and organizer of Sachem Library TnT (20s ‘n 30s) Book Discussion on Long Island.
I’m reaching out because we’ve selected Tulubaikaporia as a strong fit for our upcoming reading cycle. Our community is made up of committed readers in their 20s and 30s who read in full and enjoy unpacking character choices, themes, and emotional dynamics — and your work stood out for the way it explores the haunting intersection of memory, the “cosy absurdity” of grief, and the profound longing for impossible returns.
All titles we feature are presented through our Author Spotlight format. This means the book is not only read, but explored through a guided, character- and theme-driven discussion designed to reflect the craft of the work and spark meaningful conversation among readers.
For authors, the Spotlight is structured to provide more than visibility. It offers:
Intentional reader engagement with a defined 20s–30s audience
Thoughtful discussion framing that highlights the book’s depth and design
Authentic reader insight into what resonated, raised questions, or sparked debate
Professional spotlight materials connected to the feature, which authors can reference or reuse after the event
We’re excited to move forward with featuring your book! I’d love to share the feature timeline and next steps so we can get started, and I’m happy to answer any questions you have along the way.
Warmly, Jackie
VANECHKA:
Hi Jackie, thank you for getting in touch, it’s lovely to hear the book caught your attention.
You’re very welcome to read and discuss it with your group. I hope you all enjoy it, let me know once you finish it.
Best, Vanechka
JACKIE:
Thank you again for your kind response — we’re excited about the possibility of centering Tulubaikaporia in one of our upcoming cycles.
To make everything clear and transparent, here’s how our Author Spotlight is structured, segmented into what we require from featured authors and what they receive in return.
Author Spotlight Requirements (Author Contribution & Participation)
Confirmation to proceed within our scheduled feature window
A digital copy (or ARC) for discussion preparation
Any existing discussion guide, key themes, craft insights, or elements you’d especially like highlighted
Optional: a short author note or message to readers
What You Receive in Return
A fully scheduled Author Spotlight within our 20s–30s reading community
A guided, theme-driven discussion session centered on the emotional and craft layers of your book
Custom-designed Spotlight materials created specifically for your feature
Intentional reader engagement — not surface-level commentary, but thoughtful discussion
A curated reader insight summary outlining what resonated, what sparked debate, and what lingered
Spotlight positioning you can reference in your portfolio, media kit, or promotional materials
Our goal is to create an experience that feels deliberate and valuable on both sides — meaningful for our members and professionally worthwhile for the authors we feature.
Would you like me to send the feature timeline and next steps so we can move forward thoughtfully?
VANECHKA:
Hi Jackie, thank you so much for all this! I’m really flattered.
You can grab a free copy of the book here: [REDACTED]
As for discussion themes, I think it’s much more interesting when readers discover those for themselves, so feel free to take it wherever the conversation goes! I wouldn’t want to affect your creative readerly choices.
And if I’m honest, please don’t worry about any of the spotlight materials or anything in return. I’m just happy to know someone is reading my work!
Looking forward to hearing how the discussion turns out!
Best, Vanechka
JACKIE:
Thank you again for your generosity, it truly speaks to your spirit as a writer.
I want to clarify gently but clearly: when we select a book at Sachem Library TnT (20s ‘n 30s) Book Discussion, it is always through our formal Author Spotlight format. We don’t separate casual reads from Spotlight features once a title is chosen for a cycle. The structure is part of what keeps our programming consistent and meaningful for our members.
The Spotlight includes the scheduled discussion session, curated theme framing, visual feature materials, and documented reader insights, and it operates with a standard support contribution that sustains the preparation and stewardship behind the experience.
We’d love to move forward with featuring Tulubaikaporia properly within that framework. If that feels aligned for you, I’ll send over the timeline and contribution details so we can confirm your cycle and begin preparation.
Would you like to move ahead with this?
VANECHKA:
Hi Jackie, absolutely, I’d love to move ahead!
And I completely understand about the support contribution. Running a book club must be a lot of work! I’d be happy to contribute by preparing a personalised letter to your readers, a discussion guide with themes and questions, and I could even join the session over Zoom for a live Q&A or a short reading. Whatever helps make the experience special for your members.
I’ll ask my assistant to prepare those materials for you. For any questions or coordination, you can reach him directly at Felix Futzbucker. I’ll cc him once we’re moving forward.
Best, Vanechka
JACKIE:
Okay Vanya, I will be expecting those materials from your Assistant. Regarding the contribution, it ranges from $99.99 – $149.99, let me know what you will be capable of.
Should I reserve the spot?
F TWO: Felix
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
This is Felix Futzbucker, Mr Bagaev’s assistant.
Thank you for your patience. I’ve prepared the full spotlight package for your book club as discussed: the discussion guide, reader letter, and thematic breakdown. Mr Bagaev has also confirmed his availability for a live Zoom Q&A.
For the preparation and coordination of these materials, our standard author spotlight facilitation fee is $199.99. Shall I send over an invoice?
Kind regards, Felix Futzbucker
Assistant to Vanya Bagaev
Nova Nevédoma
JACKIE:
Hi Felix,
Thank you for preparing the materials, we truly respect the effort behind that.
I want to clarify alignment. Sachem Library TnT (20s ‘n 30s) Book Discussion is the curating and hosting body of the Author Spotlight. The structure, facilitation, audience engagement, and presentation framework are built and stewarded by us. We don’t participate in externally packaged spotlight features or outside facilitation fees for inclusion in our programming.
Our Spotlight format is standardized across all featured authors and includes a support contribution on the author’s end to secure the feature window and production.
We’re preparing to schedule Tulubaikaporia for the February available date Spotlight cycle and begin preparation immediately upon confirmation. I can forward the official outline and contribution details so we can formalize the feature and reserve the date.
Looking forward to coordinating this thoughtfully.
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Thank you. I understand completely.
If I may ask, do all your featured authors pay this contribution? I’d love to see the previous spotlight features so I can show Mr Bagaev “the calibre of the programme” so to say, hehe (pardon). A link to past spotlights would be very fabulous.
Also, just to confirm, when you say February, do you mean this month? That’s very exciting. Mr Bagaev would like to know the exact discussion date so he can block his calendar for the Zoom Q&A.
JACKIE:
Every featured author on our platform had contributed not for promotion or marketing sake but for Stewardship. We’ve always handled authors’ work with care to ensure they are well presented to our curated readership.
Regarding the Zoom, I’ve said it earlier that it is not important for you to join the event both physically and virtually. As it is included in the second message, you know to let him know that we based our discussion on those materials provided. This helps reduce stress, and save your time.
Would you be much interested in exploring?
I attach the portfolio link [REDACTED] of our past spotlight below, check out to them and let me know what you think.
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for the portfolio, what a lovely page! The book-cupcakes are a wonderful touch, uwu!
I showed it to Mr Bagaev and he was very much incredibly moved. He asked me to tell you that he would be honoured to join the ranks of Saul Herzog, Kerry J Donovan, and Chuck Dixon. He’s, in fact, a great admirer of all three. What a coincidence!
Before we proceed, Mr Bagaev would like to know… which of their spotlights would you say generated the most meaningful reader engagement? He’d love to base his contribution on the best practices.
Also, he was curious whether any of these authors would be open to a brief conversation about their spotlight experience… He finds it very helpful to hear from fellow authors before committing to new programmes.
JACKIE:
Thank you, I’m glad the portfolio resonated!
All our Spotlights see strong, meaningful engagement, but Saul Herzog’s feature generated the most discussion and post-session reflection, which is why he received our Achievement Recognition. The strongest results come from full participation within our established Spotlight framework. Regarding conversations with past authors, many of them, like Kerry J Donovan and Chuck Dixon, maintain very full schedules, so we don’t coordinate direct outreach. Their experience is embedded in the Spotlight structure itself.
If Mr. Bagaev is ready to proceed, we can reserve the February 18th or 20th cycle and I’ll send the formal outline and contribution details.
Would you like me to do that?
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Wonderful, thank you! Mr Bagaev was thrilled to see the portfolio.
He was particularly excited to see Saul Herzog among your past authors. He’s rather banging name in the thriller space. Mr Bagaev feels very honoured to be in such company and asked me to pass along his compliments to your team for attracting authors of that calibre.
I’m asking because it would really help me prepare the right materials for Mr Bagaev’s spotlight. Did Mr Herzog’s feature focus on his Lance Spector series, or one of his standalone works? I want to understand how your discussion framework handles genre fiction versus more literary work, as the approach must be quite different, and I’d like to tailor what I put together accordingly.
Also please send the credentials where we should deliver the fees to you. I must mention that most of our micro-press’s money comes from rather grey areas, please let me know if you’re okay with that.
JACKIE:
Thank you, I’m glad Mr. Bagaev enjoyed the portfolio! We’re thrilled to feature him and celebrate his work. This Spotlight will be held in his honor as one of the standout authors we’ve had the pleasure to showcase.
For context, Saul Herzog’s feature focused primarily on his Lance Spector series, as our framework highlights a combination of narrative structure, character development, and thematic resonance. While the Spotlight can adapt to genre or experimental literary work, the same principle applies: we guide discussion around what sparks deep reflection and engagement from our 20s–30s audience.
Regarding the support contribution, the request has been issued officially by our club’s financial secretary, who manages all payments. Once confirmed, the payment can be delivered according to the instructions provided in that request.
We’re excited to move forward and look forward to making this a meaningful, celebrated Spotlight for Mr. Bagaev.
JACKIE:
We’re excited to feature Mr. Bagaev in our Spotlight! To secure the date and begin preparation, our financial secretary has issued the official support contribution request. [REDACTED]
F THREE: The Funds
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Excellent news, thank you. Mr Bagaev is delighted.
One small logistical note… given that part of our fiscal structure falls under current sanctions provisions, outgoing payments can take up to 90 business days to clear through our correspondent banking chain. I hope this won’t be an issue. We’ve found that most of our partners are understanding once the funds do arrive.
Shall I proceed on our end?
JACKIE:
Thank you for the update — we’re thrilled that Mr. Bagaev is excited for his Spotlight!
We completely understand the banking timelines. If the 90-business-day processing could be an issue, would you like us to provide an alternative payment option to make things easier on your end?
Looking forward to celebrating Mr. Bagaev’s work with our community.
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
That’s very kind of you, thank you for being so flexible.
What alternative payment options do you have available? Our usual fallback when the banking route is complicated is either physical cash delivered by courier, or barter. Mr Bagaev has previously settled accounts with signed first editions, for example.
Please let me know what works best on your end.
JACKIE:
This is another payment option you can use either Zelle or Paypal [REDACTED]
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for this. Unfortunately PayPal and Zelle are both unavailable to us due to the sanctions situation I mentioned… this is precisely the issue with our Russia-side operations.
Also, just so I address the invoice correctly in our records, should the payment be made out to you, to the financial secretary, or to Juan Gonzales (Paypal user)? I want to make sure our compliance documentation matches.
Do you perhaps accept wire transfer to a non-US institution? Or as I mentioned, Mr Bagaev is very open to barter.
JACKIE:
In as much I send you the money information, check it, and confirm it. I do accept Wire Transfer. Can you do that?
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Wire transfer could work, though I should be transparent: our outgoing wires route through three intermediary banks (Tulubaika (Russia) → Tbilisi (Georgia) → Nicosia (Cyprus) → destination), so there may be additional delays and correspondent fees on your end. We’ve had partners report receiving anywhere between 60% and 85% of the original amount after deductions, depending on the corridor.
Also, I noticed you didn’t address my earlier question: should the payment documentation reference Jackie Sachem, the financial secretary, or Juan Gonzales? Our compliance team is quite particular about name matching.
Apologies again for the complexity. Mr Bagaev himself finds all of this very tedious, too.
JACKIE:
Account Name: Emmanuel Adeniji
Bank Name: [REDACTED]
Account Number: [REDACTED]
Routing Number: [REDACTED]
Account Type: Personal Checking
Bank Address: [REDACTED], Beaverton, OR, 97008, USA
Do the wire transfer into this account, attach my name to it. After you’ve done it, let me know.
F FOUR: Fuckery
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for these. Before I initiate the transfer, I’d need a final legal bit from you. Apologise for the inconvenience, it’s just a routine bureaucracy.
Please check out the form and return it filled out at your earliest convenience.
[Attached: a due diligence form noting that a routine name check on the payment beneficiary, Emmanuel Adeniji, returned a match against publicly available criminal records, specifically, the conviction of an Emmanuel Adeniji in Dublin, July 2020, for the rape of a 73-year-old Alzheimer’s patient in a nursing home where he had worked for 15 years. The form asks Jackie to confirm that the account holder is not the convicted individual, and to sign.]
JACKIE:
We have no connection with the individual convicted in Dublin, Ireland, in July 2020. The document is signed and attached this mail.
[Attached: the returned signed form.]
JACKIE:
This is just a check in on the last message. We want to remind you that the required document has been signed and we are already set to move forward in the preparation of the event which we have set a date to 20th February. Your earliest reply would hasten us the more.
Thanks. Best regards
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Apologies for the delay. Please find attached the wire confirmation. All set on our end.
Mr Bagaev is very much looking forward to the event on the 20th. Please let him know how it goes!
[Attached: a wire transfer confirmation from Nova Nevédoma showing $149.99 sent to Emmanuel Adeniji at Lead Bank, Beaverton, OR, via intermediary chain — Tulubaika Regional Savings Cooperative (Tbilisi) → East Mediterranean Commercial Trust (Nicosia) → Lead Bank. Estimated arrival: 90 business days. Estimated amount received after corridor fees: $87.00–$112.00.]
JACKIE:
Thanks, we are still waiting for the payment to be completed but nevertheless we will continue as planned.
JACKIE:
Dear Felix,
I’ve attached the official Spotlight banner for Mr. Bagaev’s feature so you can see how we are positioning and presenting his work within our community. The design reflects the tone of the cycle and how we introduce featured authors to our members — thoughtful, curated, and centered on meaningful engagement.
On our end, the reading framework, discussion outline, and promotional sequencing are ready to move into final scheduling. The only element currently holding us from locking everything in place is the support contribution, which has not yet been received. We’ve already set the event internally and allocated preparation time accordingly.
Once the payment is delivered, we’ll immediately confirm the feature window publicly and proceed with full rollout across our member channels.
We’re looking forward to honoring Mr. Bagaev properly and moving ahead smoothly.
[Attached: a banner reading “SACHEM LIBRARSY” among other things, featuring Tulubaikaporia’s cover, with the event set for “4PM — GTM-5”.]
FELIX:
Dear Jackie,
Thank you for the banner. Mr Bagaev was genuinely moved to see his work presented this way. He did however ask me to flag a couple of small things before it goes out to your members:
“Sachem Librarsy” I believe this should be “Library”
“GTM-5” I think the standard abbreviation is “GMT-5”
Very minor, but Mr Bagaev is meticulous about details and would hate for it to reflect poorly on his impeccable reputation.
Re: the payment. As per the wire confirmation we sent on the 18th, the transfer has been initiated and is currently moving through the intermediary chain. I checked in with the bank again this morning and everything is processing normally on their end. Unfortunately the corridor timeline is out of our hands, but the funds are on their way! Fingers crossed.
We appreciate your patience and look forward to the event.
Kindest regards,
Felix Futzbucker
Assistant to Vanya Bagaev
Nova Nevédoma
[End of F Four. The wire transfer is currently routing through Tbilisi. Estimated arrival: August 2026.]
[Curtain.]
Postscript
F Five might come, might as well not… The Sachem Library Book Club is real, or isn’t or was (not sure). It had 940 members on Meetup, a 4.7-star rating, and holds monthly Zoom discussions of real books: Crying in H Mart, The God of the Woods, Last Christmas in Paris. Now, however, the link to the bookclub even isn’t working.
Jackie does not work there, if she’s not real, and does if she is, especially if she’s Juan Gonzales or Emmanuel Adeniji, borgesianly, she might be all three or even more, for we know how it works, believe us, compadres. Someone could be impersonating her, or Emmanuel or Juan, or not, for the world is full of generous people and lovely book clubs, especially on Long Island. $149.99, or whatever’s left of it in 90 days and a few stages of wire transfer chains, Jackie, Juan, and Emmanuel are going to split between themselves or donate to the public library.
If you received an email like that, Felix Futzbucker, that is me, digital tulpa (of you), parody account (of myself), art project (according to my parents), is always happy to help. He (that is me) performs admirably under pressure.
F Five might come, might as well not, but if it does, it might as well be FBI.
Don’t come to the Sachem Librarsy on the 20th of Feb 2026, compadres, for there, under pressure, something terrible might happen.
Universum vobiscum,
Felix Futzbucker
Assistant to Vanya Bagaev, Vanechka, and nova·nevédoma at large.
Must be nice to have an assistant, Señor Bagaev
Congratulations🙏